"Wake every day with a WINGED HEART and give thanks for another day of LOVING." (Khalil Gibran)

Saturday, October 6, 2007

A Sad Medical Update

I finally heard from the doctors at Cleveland Clinic a few days ago. I've been too upset to write about it, but here's the news: there is nothing more they can do for me surgically. I'm going to have to live with the condition I am in -- an unstable sternum with parts of the bones rubbing together that catches tissue and separates when I use my arms, and a ventral hernia. Because my chest has already been opened three times, none of the doctors felt that the results would be promising or lasting. Believe me, it's not that I WANTED a 14th surgery, but now I just don't know what to think. I've been dealing with bad daily pain as a result of severe degenerative disc disease in my lumbar spine (and being status post four back surgeries) for many years. This is why I use a wheelchair. Now, I find out that the really severe pain and physical limitations in my chest and arms is here to stay. I just can't get my head around this. I am struggling with the "why" of all this; even though I know that God has a plan for me. I ask you to pray for me...for strength, for clarity of mind, and for the renewed faith I will need to deal with all of this.

Without my creative endeavors, my friends and my little great-nieces and great-nephews, I don't know how I would go on. I'm really having a pity party even though I know there are many worse off than I am. I think I am just plain old worn out -- physically, mentally and spiritually. I also am always cognizant of my many blessings: the fact that my emergency open heart surgery was in the nick of time (literally); the fact that my kidney cancer was caught in time by accident; the fact that I have my mental faculties intact; the fact that I was given the gift of creativity; my friends and family; and even all of you - my blog readers and the recipients of my freebies. What good would it be for me to make them if no one wanted them?!?

Please pray for me if you are so inclined or just send good thoughts, and know that you are an important part of this journey I am on...for better or worse.

I pray for blessings for each and every one of you.

Winged Heart


Satori said...

I just wanted to send you my best wishes. I love your work and hope that it gives you strength in your time of need. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

makeyesup said...

Just to let you know that my prayers are with you. You might have thought that you were having a self pity party here; however, I think that you are a very strong and wonderful person. Your gifts are appreciated and beautiful. Thanks for being you.

babydoe said...

That your kidney cancer was found by accident is the same thing that happened to me about 3 years ago. I had a CT scan on my hips because of an infection in my hip replacements and the radiologist found something in my L kidney. It turned out to be cancer and I had my L kidney removed. I am so glad it was found and was able to be removed (very painful recovery) but I have no problem with that since. You are always in my thoughts. You blog is one I visit often.

ChrisA said...

So sorry to hear your news. Sounds like you have been very strong to deal with all that you have, yet your love does come through with your creativity and your caring for others. I've always heard that God only gives you what you can handle, although I know I lot of times we just wonder why. My prayer and thoughts are with you. Thank you again for all of your generosity.

Cynthia said...

I am so sorry to hear about your medical situation. I wish you strength! Thinking about you, Cynthia.

Jill said...

Sally, to read about your many trials touched my heart. I pray the Lord continue to give your courage and strength, and inspiration to do what you love to do. I have a page you might like to visit -- I hope it brings a little blessing -- http://atthewell.com/inyourpresence/

Joanne said...

you touched my heart too!..because I can feel your pain..in someways, last year in October I had to give up working..I worked from 15 to age 47..the last 12 of them in back pain..but then I developed more..and it effected a different area of my body..and I started having times with loosing the use of my left arm..and pain in my right shoulder..
I struggle daily with pain..and understand all to well..with the nothing but life substaining ..stuff being covered..each night I will..remember you in my prayers..ad with..you joy, piece and prosperity despite all the struggles..you have ..you heart is warm..and beautiful..the greatest of all gifts..one can have..thank you for touching my life...